You can Eat Your Chocolate Cake and Enjoy it too! -without the weight gain and guilt.

Imagine a child's birthday party complete with balloons, games, presents, a bunch of 6 year old kids screaming with delight and a big chocolate cake covered in butter icing and little sugar candies shaped liked trucks. Something like that, you know the party, you were there once or maybe you are a parent and have been to one recently. Now comes cake time. The kids are all excited and big eyed, already on a sugar high, the parents have their cameras rolling and everyone starts singing. It's all about fun, joy and living life. Then the cake gets cut and plated. Then the plates of cake get passed around. The kids grab them and dig in without a second thought. They eat every bite of cake on the plate. Their only thought is "mmmm, yummy, good cake". Then when the 6 year old kids finish off the last bite of cake they put the plate down and race off to the next thing to enjoy. They had their cake and enjoyed it too and then they moved on. Kids are really good at living in the moment.

Now picture the moms in the room and watch as that cake gets passed around to them. Some of them take it with thanks and others ask for a smaller piece. Most of them, not all, look at the cake and think "mmmmm, looks tasty, but it is so full of fat and calories. I didn't get any exercise today, I really don't deserve this. I really shouldn't. Well I will just have a bite, that's not so bad." Then she takes a bite and for the first moment she enjoys it thinking, "mmm, yum this is really good cake." Then the moment is lost and she changes her thought to "Oh but it is too good, it really must be bad for me. I should really stop eating it. It is going right to my thighs. I'm so bad, but it is so good and I just can't stop. I am so weak, I have no willpower..." She finishes the cake and puts down the plate. Instead of moving on and enjoying what is happening in the new moment, like the fun the kids are having, she starts thinking again, "oh boy, I really shouldn't have eaten that cake, I can't believe I ate the whole thing (it was actually just a piece). I am so weak, such a failure. No wonder no one loves me..." Her thoughts go from chocolate cake to the real void that she is trying to fill, love for herself. All of this from a simple, innocent piece of cake. Notice the words that she used; shouldn't, don't deserve, weak, no willpower... and think abut what those words represent.

You can Eat Your Chocolate Cake and Enjoy it too! -without the weight gain and guilt. The way is to understand what eating and thinking those thoughts does to your body. When you think a negative thought your body goes into stress mode. When you are thinking a lot of negative thoughts and going into guilt mode your body will end up very stressed. When your body is stressed it's physical response is to send out hormones from the adrenal glands to deal with the stress. Stored sugars are released and pumped through your blood, energy is sent to the heart, lungs and extremities and the digestive system goes into sleep mode. The reason your body does this is because it is prioritizing functions needed to deal with stress. Your body recognizes a stress signal as a "fight or flight" situation and responds accordingly. All of these actions your body takes gives you the ability to literally fight or run for your life. This is your bodies mechanism to respond to a serious 911 situation like running out of a burning building or defending yourself against an intruder. This is a very important and life saving response, it is an incredible thing that our bodies do for us. It gives us what we need to get out, and fast. The problem is that when all the energy is taken away from the digestive system and it is being shut down, it is very difficult to digest food. That is when we get bloated, feel sick to our stomach and gain weight. The hormones being released by the adrenal glands along with that extra stored sugar being released will end up causing more fat storage because they are not being burned off. When you are running for your life you are burning fuel, when you are eating cake you are not.

The stress response takes place whether the stress is real or perceived. A life or death situation is a real stress. Our reaction to a situation or the way we perceive a situation that is not life or death is a choice. A bit hard for our ego to take but it is true, we have a choice as to how we react in any given situation. The beauty is that we can always change our reactions. Even if the thought starts as "I shouldn't eat this cake" we have the power to change the thought to. "I am enjoying every bite of this cake." Then we have to make that thought a reality so that we are truly enjoying and not just pretending. That takes practice and repetition.

Try this, the next time you sit down to eat, really taste your food. Take a bite and put all of your awareness into it. Notice each flavour, texture and everything else it has to offer. How does it taste to you? Are you really enjoying it or are you simply eating it because it is there and you have to eat to live. Or are you eating it because you know it will give you quick energy or fill an emotional void? Eating mindfully will change the way you see food and it will change the way you digest it. The way you eat is as important as what you eat.

If you are in a place of emotional stress and are reaching for food to fix it, pause. Just for a moment to take a few deep breaths. Close your eyes and imagine a laughing baby, and that can only bring happy thoughts. We can only think one thought at a time so keep moving back to good ones. Practice that, it will get easier and quicker in time. Then once you feel good and happy have a piece of the cake and enjoy every bite. Food is about enjoyment not just nourishment and definitely not guilt. Getting th guilt out and the joy in takes more than willpower, it takes support and accountability.